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Classic Farm Dog |
Of course most of the farm dogs I have seen have been German
shepherds and Golden retrievers, which are great guard dogs, but do not fit in
a tote. I have considered that it might be worth lugging a border collie around
if only to have it balance my checkbook, but being hunched over all of the time
would completely destroy the line I try to achieve with my clothing. Toy breeds
have the obvious size advantage for finishing an ensemble, but there are
difficulties associated with having one’s property guarded by a dog that can be
carried off by large birds.
Fortunately, I rescued a peculiar looking Chihuahua mix who is
a lot of dog in a small space (ultimum parvo).His adorably funny face is a
cloying mask for an ancient and dangerous killer. He’s a Chihuahua-chupacabra
mix – a.k.a. a chupahuahua. Half of him is a sweet, little handbag brooch and
the other half is vicious, bloodsucking killer. Okay. . . so that’s really the
mythos he has constructed in his own mind, but we humor his bigger-than-life
fantasy, because it does have some practical applications.
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The Chupahuahua Solution |
The disadvantage of having a chupahuahua is that one is
responsible for the security of the fenced yard. Before he goes out, we must
check the yard for foxes, coyotes and any variety of large cats, then we must
stay with him to make sure that the owls and ravens don’t get ideas. The tradeoff
is that he will terrify any animal outside of the fenced area by lunging into
the yard, barking madly as though he is leading an entire pack of chupahuahuas
in hot pursuit. He does this every time he goes outside and stops automatically
when he reaches the fence, usually because he smells something interesting.
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Darling handbag accessory and vigilant protector? |
Unfortunately, a mini-dog doesn’t even need a mini-farm to
get into trouble, and it is possible that our chupahuahua will bite off more
than he can chew one day. An undetected skunk could get into the yard, a
burglar might rub his belly until he drifts off to sleep, or something more
unthinkable could befall him. With all that in mind we will probably have to adopt
a larger dog to guard him while he’s guarding the property. I suppose I could
accessorize with a handbag on rollers.
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