Woe be to the deer of this community now that Griffin is here. Just this morning he came trotting along with a nine inch antler in his mouth. He's allergic to meat so we're looking for the rest of the carcass before he gorges himself into a seizure.
Now there is a chance that our eight pound chupahuahua has not graduated from Royal Canin hydrolyzed protein bits to big game. This could be one of the deer carcasses that passers by throw over our fence as a neighborly gesture before they take the remains of their front end to a body shop.
The fact that the deer cross the roads at unexpected and inconvenient times is a growing problem out here. In fact, there are some who say we have a real deer crisis. In addition to being uncitizenlike pedestrians, the deer consume carefully tended flower beds, shrubs, vegetable gardens and field crops. One of my neighbors was even attacked by a buck.
For obvious reason these hoodlums are very unpopular, and the town is intent on solving the problem by culling the herd. On the one hand it seems we already have a culling plan with the local automobiles doing such a bang up job on the problem, but I suppose there could be some methods that are safer for humans.
Unfortunately, a recent proposal on culling the local deer population was not one of those safer methods: allowing bow hunting within the city limits at night. I'm not sure which point is the most ridiculous part of the equation, but the only thing that could make the combination of arrows, darkness, and residential neighborhoods more dangerous would be beer. I didn't attend the town hall meeting, and wish I had, because no two accounts of the meeting are the same. Maybe they discussed a beer requirement too.
I haven't heard a single argument in favor of this proposal, but I suppose someone could have thought that bow hunting at night might make it quieter and reduce the chances of someone getting shot while running errands in town. Maybe they thought it gave the deer a fighting chance to be shot at during the night when they are harder to see. I imagine the advocates of this proposal were following some line of logic, but to an outsider their search for a solution seems more like bow hunting in the dark, i.e. take a shot and see what sticks.
I live outside of town, but the town itself is densely built. An arrow shot in any direction will hit something. I'm sorry for anyone watching the evening news too close to a window when an errant arrow flies in. Or even worse trouble may come when someone steps outside to investigate the strange sound of a trespasser creeping through the yard in pursuit of a deer.
I don't have a problem with hunting. I just don't know of a responsible hunter who would be keen to defy common sense and commit a felony by hunting in a manner that "endangers human life or property" C. R. S. A. § 33-6-122.
Fortunately, the deer have not broken down civil order to the point that people feel the need to zing arrows through darkened alleys. With state law, common sense and a long list of hypothetical scenarios that end in loss of human life against it, the proposal went nowhere, leaving the community with the same deer problem.
Of course no one agrees on the nature of the problem. They certainly don't agree on how many deer are in the herd. I've read population numbers from 50-600. If there are 600 it will be a fine autumn for hunters, even if they can't lean out their bedroom windows with bows at the ready to pick them off.
Regardless of the numbers, there still seems to be enough alarm about the behavior of the deer that one would think it has turned into gangland out here in the country. Deer are beating people up on their own property. There are the packs of grazers indiscriminately mowing through our carefully tended lawns and gardens showing no respect for our personal property.
It all comes to a head in the battle over highway access, and this is an area where the humans are winning. Certainly, humans can die in these accidents, but more often they are calling for a tow truck while the poor animal gasps its last.
In my opinion, anyone who has been attacked by a deer has every right to be upset at the deer population. The rest of us need to tend to our fences and drive more carefully. These actions will help, but won't eliminate the problems because deer have been known to overcome fences and accidents still happen, so we also need to adjust our expectations. The deer didn't add the highways. They don't make anyone text while driving or speed or daydream. Not only were the deer here first, but we knew they were here when we settled, built roads, and invited an increasing number of suburbanites who like to see the pretty deer and grow heirloom tomatoes. Could it be that it's not the deer population that's the problem?
For my part, I just want to find a way to peacefully coexist with the deer while keeping them out of my garden. I'm not sure how that works, but dealing with the wildlife is part of living here. There won't be any culling in our yard, unless Griffin has his way.
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