Best Overalls

Strawberry Pickers on the Chivers Estate near Ely. 1944.
Source: Museum of English Rural Life

The fashion buzz is that overalls are the hot trend for this summer. My grandfather, who bought his overalls at the feed store, would be a bit perplexed at Farfetch's offering of J Brand overalls for 562 dollars. Though, I must admit J Brand overalls are mighty pretty on the tall, lithe model sporting them for the website. I don’t think granddad was as interested in having an outfit with good lines so much as he was in keeping hog poop off of his shirts, which can be achieved for a small percentage of Farfetch’s price. Nonetheless, one should give kudos to J Brand for making overalls that look good on any woman. 

J Brand’s model and one of my cousins, who got hold of a second hand pair of Calvin Klein overalls, are the only people I have seen who could manage to look like they have a figure beneath modern overalls.*  I’m sure these instances are a combination of designer know-how and excellent genetics, because most of us women look like we got caught inside of yard waste bags. The most a good designer can do for those of us who are short, narrow shouldered, and/or wide in the hips is help us look like we really meant to wear a yard waste bag. Truly, I have seen numerous photos of celebrities and models wearing overalls lately, and what the fashion magazines laud as chic really looks like they put on the first thing they could find as they ran from their burning homes.  Apparently the chic fashion statement to make is I don’t wash my hair or coordinate my clothes or care if there is a big wrinkled sack around my midsection.

Mind, I’m not anti-overalls. If you’ve got both the right body type and the resources to afford a good designer pair of overalls by all means wear them to the mall with your favorite pair of Jimmy Choo’s. (Props to my cousin on her second hand store designer find. I am impressed. She looks great in those overalls.) The rest of us should keep our overalls for mucking out the chicken coop. (More props to my cousin who wears her Calvin Klein overalls – but not Jimmy Choo’s – when she goes fishing. Some farm divas are just all around naturals.)

Despite the fact that I am in the category of women who looks like a sack of potatoes in overalls, I seriously considered getting a pair myself in order to have something to cover up my pajamas when I take the dogs out first thing in the morning. Since my interest is in working rather than being seen. I initially looked at Dickies, Carhartt, Duluth TradingCompany, and Rosie’s Workwear, before I remembered that I hate the stiffness of real denim.**  Solving that problem took me to regular retail outlets for lighter-weight “fashion” versions. One might think this would be easier since overalls are the hot new trend, but every pair I found are either overpriced or are only an abstract representation of overalls. A strapless top with a pair of palazzo pants attached are not overalls. Some of the retail designs are simply ridiculous.  Why on earth would I spend money for a pair of distressed overalls? I’m very hard on clothes and quite capable of distressing clothes myself. Besides, I have no desire to get compost in my boots through the artfully arranged hole in the knee.

I almost bought a cute little pair from Modcloth but then I remembered how much I hate disrobing every time I have to use a restroom.  The bib ends up flopping to the bathroom floor and then there’s always the chance the straps will fall in the toilet. (This has happened to me.) It’s also an ordeal to get the straps back on right.

Recapping: overalls make me look frumpy, I’m yet to find something that is both comfortable and practical and they create situations in which I could be standing half naked in a freezing, air conditioned bathroom struggling to fish my sopping wet clothes out of a toilet. Overalls are not for me.

It occurs to me that aprons and pinafores have none of these problems. It may be a while before designers stop trying to dress like my granddad, but perhaps one day the runways of Milan will be teeming with models adorned in pinafores over their casual pants. I wonder, has anyone seen any good apron designs?

     * The lovely strawberry pickers did themselves a fashion favor by donning belts. 
     * * If it weren't for this personal preference about denim, I would have been inclined toward Duluth Trading Company or Rosie's Workwear. Both brands are designed for women's figures and have handy knee pad pockets. Rosie's has some designs in prints.